The stage lights go up and Tim Healy strolls out to much applause. He cracks a few gags and is very funny, making a passing comment about having to get back to Manchester where his wife is "pretending to be a slapper" (she works in the Rovers Return in Coronation Street), but it goes quiet in the auditorium when he talks in a slightly shaky voice about his best friend Ronnie Johnson. He explains how devastated he was when Ronnie died, and how Jimmy Nail said "well, why don't you do something.........like put a bench in the park or start a trust or something?" And so the Sammy Johnson Memorial Fund was born, founded by Tim, Jimmy, Ray Stubbs, Max Roberts and Lynn Johnson (one of Sammy's daughters).

We are confused about the Ronnie/Sammy thing until it is explained that when Ronnie Johnson applied for his Equity membership there was already a member of that name and so he used his father's name (also his own middle name) of Sammy. OK, now we see.

Tim introduces the first act, a band called Pigmeat that Ronnie used to play in 20 years ago, who do a rousing r'n'b number. This is followed by some shuffling about in the dark (no big production this, lots of stumbling about in darkness moving things around between acts) and the lights come on to reveal a stage-hand holding a pay-telehone.....into which Neville (Kevin Whately) is shouting over the sound of aeroplanes (we are meant to be at a German Airport) to Brenda that his flight has been delayed.

Neville goes and sits on a bench with Dennis (Tim Healy), where they talk about the good times they have had in Dusseldorf and how well they were treated by the local lads. Off-stage we hear a familiar voice loudly declare "they were still Joormans, though but!" and Oz (Jimmy Nail) wanders onstage. [My God, what a horrendous short haircut! Get your money back James.] Jimmy looks all the more strange because he is hiding his beard by covering it in make-up (we can see because we are so close). He delivers the famous line "they're still the bastards that bombed me granny" and all is forgiven. This first (of three) Auf Weidersehen sketches is hilarious - so good to see anything "new" from this series (Sharon and my all time favourite TV programme, the reason we got into Jimmy Nail in the first place).

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